A New Marketing

A bold claim, I know. But let’s look at the facts. Here’s the Twitter DM stacked up against some communication rivals.

Twitter DM
Pro: Short. Good signal/noise ratio (except auto DMs). Not real time. Easy introduction medium. Good for cutting through the clutter of email.
Con: The Auto DM
Verdict: Best Communication Medium in The Universe

Instant Message
Pro: Great for real time, online conversation. High adoption.
Con: They know you’re there when you start IMing back.
Verdict: A personal favorite of mine, but once someone knows you’re around, you’re stuck. Hard to disappear/ignore/get back to someone when they know you’re sitting right there.

Email
Pro: Good for long, detailed messages. Permanently recorded. Not real time.
Con: Have you seen your inbox lately? Exactly.
Verdict: Oh email, savior of our age. The problem is that people’s inboxes are so overflowing that the signal to noise ratio is getting bad fast. Good but not great.

Phone
Pro: Not location specific. High participation rate. A step beyond written communication.
Con: Real time can be a problem when you don’t want to talk to someone.
Verdict: It’s up there. Hard to imagine life without the cell phone anymore. Don’t believe me? Run any episode of Seinfeld and give them cell phones. Kills half the jokes/scenarios.

Land Line
Pro: Get to talk in your PJ’s.
Con: Have to be home.
Verdict: Do people still use these? Really?

Morse Code
Pro: Able to send messages long distances. Keeps communication secret from spies.
Con: You have to freaking know Morse Code.
Verdict: Not bad - if you want to give the coordinates of an enemy submarine, I guess.

Carrier Pigeon
Pro: “Smart” message delivery. No minimum wage.
Con: Message limited to what you can physically attach to a pigeon. Possibility of looking like a hermit/conspiracy theorist while owning pigeons.
Verdict: Aside from owning pigeons, keeping pigeons, feeding pigeons, training pigeons, and attaching things to pigeons, it’s not that bad really.

Smoke Signals
Pro: Long distance. High badass-factor.
Con: Fire hazard. Not the best for indoor communication.
Verdict: I wouldn’t attempt without adult/Apache supervision.

Fax Machine
Pro: Able to send complex print documents anywhere in the world.
Con: That sound! It sounds like an electronic cat hopped up on Red Bull and trapped in a cardboard box.
Verdict: Occasionally useful, but my guess is email attachment is going to kill the fax.

Tin Cans & String
Pro: Cheap to obtain/make. Cute.
Con: For some reason it doesn’t work unless you’re six years old or homeless.
Verdict: I’m not sure this even works. Whose idea was this in the first place?

Bike Courier
Pro: Able to deliver larger physical objects. Faster than a larger delivery service for short ranges.
Con: Spandex and attitude.
Verdict: If you need those designs across town NOW!

Boom Box Serenade
Pro: High visibility. Large audience. Ability to work Billy Idol into everyday communication.
Con: High crazy factor.
Verdict: I’m guessing this has it’s applications, but no one needs “Rebel Yell” at 9:30 on a Monday.